Put a Smile on Your Face even though Life is Tough
I must say, I give props to the Renza family and friends. I am sure on Richelle’s birthday throwing a party was a hard thing to do but they created many smiles and helped us all celebrate the loved ones that we have with us right NOW. Here is a video of the days. I hope that you enjoy. I really believe that taking a stand against depression can in true be patrolling against suicide. Life in itself is tooooooo fragile to not put a smile on your face and tell your loved ones that even though you may not understand what they are going through you are there for them.
Richelle Renza Life Patrol-Cocktail Party ‘09
I had the extreme pleasure of attending the Life Patrol event on August 14, 2009. I never met Richelle but through this event I feel Karen Rich and Richelle’s story has touched my life forever. It is our hope that if you didn’t make the event this time, we will see you next year. I know I will be there. I will be there supporting the movement that depression is real. It is a very very real disease. A disease that affects everyone.
Those that say that “it is all in their head” are wrong right.
Hard to believe but think about it. Even the healthiest person with pain is connected neurologically to being “in your head.” When you hurt your arm, the nerves in you arm send a message “to your head” that something is not right.
In all retrospect, we all have pain that is in “our head”. Depression is no different.
Chemical imbalances happen. Neurological imbalances happen. Depression Happens. It is all very real. Please take a moment to not criticize your love ones that are not acting “normal”. Tell them that although you do not “understand” what is going on, you do recognize that there is a REAL problem and that you are their for them. This will make a bigger impression than telling them to pull themselves together.
See you next year! Renza Life Patrol Festival Fun video with lost of smiles is on the way. 
Celebrate the ones that you have next to you today.
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Words on Depression
I was recently asked to speak at the Renza Life Patrol event to raise awareness about depression and suicide. I wasn’t sure what to say but had some requests to repeat some of the suggestions I had made at the event. Here is what I had to say. On a side note, I truly believe suicide and depression is a very real thing and hope that these words have helped someone somewhere.
I don’t believe I ever met Richelle. She was a couple of years older than me. I don’t think I ever saw her famous smile until a photo was emailed to me. I am not sure if she would have liked me, or if she would have been one of the girls I would have hung out with in high school. I think it’s safe to say that you probably are thinking, “Why is this girl talking right now?”
I do however have a secret that not many people can see. I do however have something that affects my life, my job, my family and even has affected my children. Just like depression I do have a hidden illness. One that only I and a few others can see. As I stand here today I do not look sick but I am.
I do not have clinical depression but I have suffered a brain injury that has paralyzed my stomach and damaged my nervous system that has completely changed my world over the last two years. It has turned my life upside down, scared my 6 year old half to death, driven my parents completely crazy and even almost driven my husband out of the house. But if I were to stand here and say that I did have clinical depression would you think of me any differently? For some reason we, as a society, have let each other think that saying the “D” word is not an OK thing to say. When in all reality my brain doesn’t work well either and that is OK?
So, even though I never met Richelle I know what it’s like to not feel “right”, to not be content with the way things were going, and personally being bed ridden for almost 6 months left me a lot of time to think which I am sure she did a lot of.
Unfortunately, these 6 months have also left me a lot of time to experience reactions from people that just didn’t understand. People that just didn’t get it. As much as they didn’t understand, I had no clue what was happening either. They were frustrated. I was scared, and I was feeling like the biggest failure for being out of control.
During the last 2 years I was embraced, I was judged. I was loved, I was told I was lazy. I was tired, I was told I slept too much. I was called psycho and I was given the gift of a smile. I imagine that many of those that suffer from depression get told a lot of the same things. So, what can we do as friends that are helpless in a world were depression is VERY real and is effecting our loved ones.
Here are somethings that I wish someone would have said to me. Here is a list of some things that were done for me. And hopefully here is a list that you can use to help someone that you might know is hurting.
- -I’ve got your back or in other words You are not alone in this. I’m here for you.
- -if they spend a lot of time in bed, make them get a shower, buy them new sheets and new pillows. (hands down one of the best things a friend did for me)
- -You are the real deal-I understand you have a real illness and that’s what causes these thoughts and feelings.
- -color me happy-ask what their favorite color is and buy them something that will make them smile. It’s a proven fact that color effects mood.
- -I will bet you a million dollars and even if you may not believe it now the way you’re feeling will change. We will get you better.
- -Ok….So I don’t understand but…..that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. I still want to help.
- Say-You are important to me.
- Awaken the senses-flowers, taste, music, (all mood enhancers)
- So there is also one more thing that I have to tell you was the best gift I got and that was given to me by my husband and that is my iPhone. In a sense I had something that Richelle did not. That is the power of Social Media. Did you know on Twitter they have a weekly tweet-up for manic depressive people? It is kind of funny-atleast I think so—-sometimes they are down, sometimes they are up but when some start crying and then the manic ones start laughing at the ones crying you know that they have built a community of support and comfort that only they can provide for each other.
(With an IPhone a friend is just a click away on Facebook and blogs now have been started as therapy…..not necessarily to share with the public but as an online journal. In my case, I have educated myself while I was sick so that I now have made a living using all social media tools such as CapeMayBlogger.com.
Here are a few of things That some people will never take for granted are these cute ones that I had to share.
- I will never take for granted my friends making me laugh till I snort.
- I will never take for granted when she calls just to say Hi.
- I will never take for granted that my sweater was borrowed from her and then never returned.
Karen and I also got quite a few emails and comments. Just to close up I want read them.
- My friend has been with drawing from everyone and that story has made me realize it’s time for a talk.
- Depression is little understood and does not really get any sympathy. My sister took her own life three years ago this month.
- When Richelle took her own life I realized I needed help too. Every day is a struggle but I am learning to ask for help when I need it.
The gift of social media is priceless. Karen and Richelle’s story will be able to be continued and with the help of tools like blogs and Facebook.
Social Media can be used for not only for therapy but also can be used to help keep the discussion going on tough topics like depression. I can say confidence that I truly believe that an event like this can prevent another beautiful smile from being lost.
Another Empty Store Front in Cape May County
I was so sad to see the Fashion Bug that I grew up shopping at in Cape May Court House is going out of business. Sure, it’s not like it was one of those mom and pop stores that grow close to your heart but……Fashion Bug has saved me in some fashion emergencies. (Lord knows how I dress and you locals do too…LOL)
What is going in it’s place? I have no clue but in almost impeccable timing the same day I discovered Fashion Bugs exit from CMCH I received and email of a grand opening of the NEW Fashion Bug online. A sign of the times perhaps?
Although, Fashion Bug was a chain and was probably shutdown by Cape May’s entry of Walmart and the center of Cape May County moving more centered in Rio Grande.
One more reason why Cape May County needs the 3/50 project.
What are you thoughts? Has anyone gotten some grand slam deals at the clearance sale? Is it worth it to go and check things out?
Does Fashion Bug’s exit have any reaction from you? Thoughts?
For those that travel here just during the summer have you sensed a different Cape May County coming to be since you were here last? Cape May County??? Does it still have charm?
Shoprite Partners in Caring: Helping Hunger with Elizabeth and General Mills
Shoprite Partners in Caring: Helping Hunger with Elizabeth and General Mills
I have to say I am a fan of Shoprite. Where my home is located in Cape May County it’s a little ways of a trek to go shopping there but for large orders it is well worth the trip. More worth the trip for those big events that I like to plan and holiday hosted events.
I am a hostess and I love to serve up a great meal. In these time of economic struggles my events are being thrown few and far between. I am sure that everyone is feeling the crunch? Are you?
Sadly, many are feeling the effects of a downed economy and hunger is a reality. Over 36 million Americans, 12 million children and 2 million seniors are dealing with empty tummy’s. Hunger is a national and a local problem. But there is a way that you can help and all it requires is a simple comment in this post!
ShopRite Partners in Caring, a community-based hunger fighting initiative started in 1999, has teamed up with General Mills for the “Blog it Forward to Fight Hunger” campaign to recruit bloggers to help spread awareness and encourage their readers to get active. For our efforts, General Mills and ShopRite will donate one box of cereal to a food bank in ShopRite’s trading area for the first 30 people who comment on THIS POST. That is 30 boxes of cereal feeding 30 people or families. How simple is that!
Leave a comment=1 box just donated.
P.s. Did you know every time a customer purchases products with the ShopRite Partners In Caring shelf tag, they support the brands that support the fight against hunger. At ShopRite customers are not just filling a grocery bag; they are helping to fill empty bowls for thousands of hungry families in your community.
Please Comment and Help me get this party started!
Elizabeth Norton has a heart for enjoying every moment that has been given. With her own 2 little boys and her husband, she has lots to celebrate. She has a place in her heart for foster care reform. 
